Sometimes Boredom Will Get to You
by Radical.2
Summary: In which Draco gets bored, irriated, angry, and possible even married... "Want to marry me? I don't have a ring, I'm only doing this to annoy people, and I won't be any kinder to you because of it," I said flatly, but honestly. Draco/Hermione, of course.
1. Part I

_"'Cause it's a beautiful night_  
><em>We're looking for something dumb to do<em>  
><em>Hey, baby<em>  
><em>I think I wanna marry you."<br>-Bruno Mars, "Marry You"_

**~Part I~**

Bored-est day of my life, whatever the word you're supposed to use is.

Lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, I had this bizarre hope that something would just _happen_.

If I waited here long enough, I hoped, something was going to happen to me.

I daydreamed of someone knocking on the door with a thousand galleons meant to be given to me.

The ceiling exploding into a million pieces.

The floor opening up, a deep abyss at the foot of my bed.

Someone somehow apparating into the room.

_Anything_.

I just had to wait a few more minutes, I thought to myself.

Just a few more minutes...

* * *

><p>I woke up suddenly, and I had no idea what time it was.<p>

Sometimes living in a dungeon with no windows is a real pain.

I was tired, but I got up from my bed, nevertheless.

I was covered in sweat, and my limbs were yelling at me to just go back to sleep.

But it was Saturday, I couldn't just sleep in- I was surprised that Blaise hadn't already woke me up.

Heck, I was surprised that he hadn't sprayed paint all over me again as a prank.

I wandered out the door and into the common room, searching for something.

Something to do.

Anything.

My eyes first fell upon Pansy Parkinson and her friends on one of the couches, crowding around a magazine she was looking at.

Before I knew what I was doing, I spoke.

"Could I read that?" I asked them.

Silence fell over them, a few giggled quietly.

_Why did I ask that? _I asked myself.

_What if it's some chick magazine or something? Or..._

"Draco, it's a wedding magazine," Pansy informed me after a moment.

"Oh."

I was quiet for a minute, justawkwardly standing there.

"Could I borrow it?" I asked again.

That got me several quizzical glances, but no one spoke for about...

Two seconds.

"You're getting married?"

"Who is it?"

"Have you proposed yet?"

"How did you propose?"

"Is it me?"

"When are you-"

I interrupted the chatter of a half dozen girls by exclaiming, "I'm not getting married!"

"Oh."

"Ah."

"So why-"

"I'm just bored!" I said. "I've been sleeping all day and staring at the ceiling and nothing has happened and I'm just really, really-"

"Bored," Pansy finished for me. "Yeah, we got that. Here, if you're going to spazz out that much, just take it."

She tossed the thick magazine at me and left the common room, her girl-clones following her.

After glancing around to be sure that the room was empty, I hesitantly reached for the magazine and opened it, settling back in a chair.

_Maybe I should get married, _I thought an hour later, having read through the whole thing.

A rational part of my brain was thinking in contrary directions, but I ignored it.

The fact that I was a sixteen-year-old guy didn't sway me at all, nor the fact that my parents would kill me.

Well, they'd only do that if the girl wasn't rich and wasn't Slytherin or Ravenclaw.

If the girl was neither, it would _really _irritate them...

In my bored mood, annoying my parents sounded like a brilliant idea.

So I started to plan.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later I was strolling toward Gryffindor tower, wondering.<p>

Wondering if I should have gotten a ring in advance.

Nah, I'd just improvise.

Wing it.

Wondering if I should go down on one knee or two.

One. I wasn't a total moron.

Wondering who I was even going to ask.

Again, I'd just wing it.

"First person I see," I muttered to myself. "No, first _girl _I see," I added, passing Neville Longbottom.

"First girl I see without a boyfriend."

"First girl I see without a boyfriend that's not a total slut."

"First girl I see without a boyfriend that's not a total slut and that's not armed with a knife in her boot..."

"Ah, forget it!" I shouted to the empty hallway.

"Forget what?" a voice behind me questioned calmly.

"Marriage," I replied evenly, not turning around.

"Okay..."

The voice was closer this time.

I could almost remember who it was, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Yeah, I know. I'm weird. But I'm really bored, and I figured that if I got married that it would annoy my parents... Merlin, it sounds even crazier out loud," I rambled.

I didn't want to turn around and see who I was embarrassing myself in front of.

"You are weird."

I knew that voice.

Just not the not-shouting-inuslts-at-me version of it.

"Hey-" I was about to ask her, but then I chickened out.

"What?" Hermione asked me.

"Want to marry me? I don't have a ring, I'm only doing this to annoy people, and I won't be any kinder to you because of it," I said flatly, but honestly.

"Sure."

"Cool," I said, hesitating before I turned around to face her.

"You're not drunk, cursed, or under the influence of a charm, are you?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

She looked utterly confused, but also like she was trying very hard not to burst into laughter.

That last bit nagged at a memory in the back of my head, but I couldn't make it click in my still-drowsy state.

"A charm..." I murmured. "Something... _Blaise_!"

"What about him?"

I barely heard her speak, becuase I was already running away, towards the dungeons, cursing under my breath.

I plowed straight into him a minute later, and then we were both on the ground.

I held him down and asked him angrily, "What the heck did you do to me?"

Blaise only laughed in my face, his dark eyes lighting up like Christmas lights.

I shook him by the shoulders, but he wasn't fazed, didn't try to get up.

"_What did you do?_" I repeated loudly.

"Just let me up," he answered.

"No."

"Fine."

Blaise shoved me off of him easily and stood up, brushing the dust off his robes casually.

Then he began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" I yelled, not moving.

"Blaise!"

No reply.

Instead of following like I wanted to, I sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall.

I was _bored_.

The kind of bored where you wanted to do something, and you could, but everything you could do just seemed, well, _boring_.

Nothing seemed interesting.

Except Hermione Granger- she was interesting.

The thought came completely out of the blue, and I tried to bursh it off, but it was too late.

Where was Hermione?

What had she thought of me talking to her of marriage and then running off?

And why hadn't she been angry with me?

She'd seemed almost... happy?

No. Mischievous.

As if she knew something that I didn't, but she was hiding it.

I felt like banging my head on the wall just because it was something to do.

I felt utterly confused, irritated, obsessed, and, yeah, _bored_.

I felt like eating a cupcake, too- random, but suddenly I really felt like wolfing down a cupcake.

Or ten.

Perhaps I was turning into Crabbe or Goyle, doing nothing but eating food.

Admittedly, I quickly looked down at myself to make sure that wasn't actually happening.

Again, I was waiting for something interesting to happen.

Ten minutes later, I'm pretty sure that I fell asleep.

Or something close to it, anyway.


	2. Part II

_"You lift my feet off the ground _  
><em>Spin me around <em>  
><em>You make me crazier, crazier <em>  
><em>Feels like I'm falling and I <em>  
><em>I'm lost in your eyes <em>  
><em>You make me crazier, <em>  
><em>Crazier, crazier."<br>-Taylor Swift, "Crazier"_

**~Part II~**

I found Draco asleep in the hallway that led to the dungeons.

I was pretty sure that he was drooling a little bit.

"Draco-" I started to try to wake him, but I guess he wakes up easily.

"IT"S ON MARS!" he yelled, snatching my wrist.

"Er..."

I carefully removed his hand from mine, which hurt a little, and said, quieter, "Draco?"

Now he was just asleep again.

"What the..."

_What a moron! _I thought to myself.

_Might as well..._

I shook Draco by the shoulders and yelled, "Wake up, you big idiot!" in his ear.

His eyes flashed open, and he immediately got up, fast enough that he was swaying when he stood.

Still disoriented, he pulled out his wand and shouted, "Lumos!" and pointed it at me.

When his wand lit up, Draco muttered, "Stupid thing," in a slur that could only be described as drunken.

I was honestly considering that, actually.

Except for that, just then, Draco's eyes got a little less foggy, his stance stood a little straighter, and he looked right at me.

"Hermione... Hermione Granger."

"Yep," I said paciently. "That's me."

He frowned, then said the last thing I would have ever expected him to say.

"So, when do you wanna do it?"

"Excuse me?" I choked out after a moment.

"Get married, Hermione!" exclaimed Draco, as if it were completely obvious. "Duh!"

"So you weren't pranked to do that..."

"Nope!"

"Nor were you under a spell..."

"Er... Not quite sure!" he replied brightly.

"Let me check," I sighed, pulling out my wand.

_Why am I even doing this? _I wondered.

But the answer, I already knew that.

I was bored, and when he wasn't trying to kill me, Draco could be alright.

And sometimes he was just downright amusing, to be honest.

Of course, there were a dozen books in my bag from the library to be read, and an essay due in two weeks that I needed to write...

But that could wait.

For once, I would just let it wait, because maybe- sometimes- life could be more interesting than literature.

That was my theory, anyway- not completely proven.

Yet.

I muttered a spell, and when I saw what charm had been placed on Draco, everything was suddenly clearer.

"Ah, I get it now," I said to myself.

"What is it?" Draco demanded.

I only laughed.

* * *

><p>Why was she laughing and not telling me anything?<p>

What was it that could be this funny?

Heck, what joke could be so funny that she was delaying marrying me?

I was _awesome_!

"Fine," I said to Hermione, miffed. "If you don't want to marry the guy who invented _pure awesomeness_, then that's fine by me! There are plenty of other fish in this sea! So HA!"

And then I dramatically spun around and strode away.

"So..." I said under my breath a few minutes later, as I walked past the Great Hall. "What do I do now?"

First things first- I still had no idea what time of day it was.

I glanced around the door, but no one was there.

The windows, however, revealed it- the sun was on that side of the windows, so it was sometime in the afternoon.

"Strange," I whispered.

"What's strange, Draco?" a voice behind me asked.

This one I recognized immediately- Pansy Parkinson.

No doubt her girl-clones were right behind her.

I turned around to face her, and also saw that I was right.

"Nothing much," I lied smoothly.

"Okay... Are you going to Hogsmeade this afternoon?" Pansy asked me.

"That's today?"

No wonder the halls were so deserted now!

Finally, something I could get.

Except that I still didn't know what Blaise had done to me.

I would have to try and figure it out for myself later, then.

"Yes, it is," Pansy said, her eyes widening curiously.

"Great! Well, are we going to go there now?" I asked them.

"We're too busy," Daphne Greengrass budded in, grabbing Pansy by the arm and dragging her away.

Do I even need to say that they were followed by Pansy's little Slytherin followers?

Pansy cast a desparate look at me before they rounded a corner, as if she wanted me to help her.

I just walked away without a second glance at them.

I had better things to do, like going to that jewelry shop in Hogsmeade...

Yeah. I was going to get her a ring.

* * *

><p>But another store caught my eye before I even started looking for the jewelry place.<p>

Weasley's Wizard Wheezes had a shop in Hogsmeade now?

Well, I suppose it was inevitable.

I walked in, and before I knew it, I was talking to George Weasley.

"I'm going to ask this girl to marry me, and I need a ring."

"And why should I-" George started to say, but then he changed his mind.

"Right this way, my friend! I think we still have something in storage to, er, assist you with your ring needs!" he exclaimed.

Being still tired as I was, I didn't notice his obvious lie, how he was likely trying to set me up with something really, really...

Something not good.

Except that I didn't see that.

George took be around to the back of the store, to a room full of boxes marked DANGEROUS and DO NOT OPEN IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE ans stuff like that.

Of course, I didn't actually _read _what was on those boxes.

I just kind of skimmed my gaze over to the small box that George was now holding.

"Here," he said to me.

I started to open it, but he yelled, "NO!"

When I cast a questioning look at him, he explained, "You can't open it yet, Draco? Do you know what happens to guys that look at the ring before they propose?"

"Er, no..."

"Bad things, Draco, my boy! _Bad things_. Like divorce, murder, or even..." George trailed off hesitantly.

"Even what?"

"Worse things," he whispered dramatically, offering no more explanation than that.

So I took the little black box and was on my merry way through Hogsmeade, headed to Hogwarts.

But then I felt that same insanely weird craving for cupcakes, and it only intensified as I lifted my eyes to the bakery now in front of me.

It wouldn't hurt to have a few...

I would put it on Father's tab, I decided.

* * *

><p>Eight cupcakes later, I was sitting at a round table across from one of the workers at the bakery.<p>

Yeah, _technically_ her shift ended forty-five minutes ago.

But we just started talking...

Well, _I_ started talking, and she was a very good listener!

So good that she hadn't spoken a single word to me yet!

"It's just that these cupcakes are so good, and... No, it's not that. It's Hermione. It's just like, I can't get her out of my head, and every time I look at her I have these pains in my chest, and I know it's her fault, that _bitch_!" I rambled on, my voice spiraling up to a near-yell.

Whatever-her-name-was finally looked up at me and said one thing.

"Then run to her, Draco! Go right up to her and ask her to marry you, don't talk to me!" she exclaimed.

She was right.

So I ran straight to Hogwarts, not stopping until I'd reached the hallway outside of the Great Hall.

Exhausted, I sat down on the floor again.

I was _really _tired, I found out.

Something about that seemed semi-suspicious to me, but before I could investigate further, I had fallen asleep.


	3. Part III

_"Just try your best _  
><em>Try everything you can <em>  
><em>And don't you worry what they tell themselves <em>  
><em>When you're away."<em>  
><em>-Jimmy Eat World, "The Middle"<em>

**~Part III~  
><strong>

I was on my merry way to dinner when I happened upon a young Slytherin boy sitting on the ground.

I suppose he was asleep before I accidentally stepped on him.

In my defense, my mind was on bigger things than what was in front of me, like what was on the ceiling.

A new mark was on the ceiling, it looked like a burn mark.

Kids these days- what are we going to do with them?

Other than step on them, of course.

"RUMBLEROAR!" Draco Malfoy yelled, his eyes flashing wide open.

"That could be the new nickname that I've been searching for for months!" I exclaimed joyously.

"What?"

"Nevermind," I said, helping Draco up from the ground. "What brings you to the hall, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco appeared to be on the verge of saying something, but then changed his mind.

"I'm waiting," I said impaciently in my best stern-headmaster voice.

I crossed my arms for dramatic effect.

"It was Blaise Zabini, sir! He shot a spell at me and I fell unconscious!" Draco said, his eyes wide again.

It was quite obvious that he was lying, but I had nothing else to do- it had been a boring day thus far.

Sometimes boredom will get to a person like that.

"And why did he do this, do you know?" I questioned him intelligently, stroking my beard.

I hoped this made me look wise and not foolish, like my brother had always told me.

Perhaps it was true, because Draco gave me an odd look before replying.

"I don't know, sir! Well, it could be because of... Nevermind, I won't trouble you with childish matters like it."

He shook his head, frowning.

And I- foolishly- took the bait.

"I love childish matters! Tell me everything!" I said excitedly.

"Well, I'm not sure..."

"Come up to my office! Come, let us be going, my dear friend! I would love to hear about all of your troubles and childish matters!" I insisted.

At last, Draco nodded assent.

I miss being young.

* * *

><p>"Wow. Just <em>wow<em>. Proposals, mysterious rings, unknown spells, pranks, and females acting strangely! It all happened to me when I was young, too, you know," I informed Draco.

"Really? What did you do?"

I leaned back in my chair awkwardly.

"Er... What you have to think of is not what I _did_, because it may or may not have been, to put it in your own student-ly lingo, an epic fail..."

"So..." Draco raised an eyebrow at me. "What should I do so that I won't end up a single old man who knits in his free time?"

"What you've got to think is this phrase: What would-"

"Jesus do!" Draco finished for me.

"No, actually. The phrase is..."

I told him my super-secret phrase that I used to help myself in times of great need.

He nodded.

A half hour later, as I sat in my office, I noticed something.

"The sword of Godric Gryffindor! It's missing!"

_The kid was good,_ I admitted grudgingly to myself.

_Well, maybe he'll put it to good use._

I doubted it.

* * *

><p>"Man-eating pillows!"<p>

_The paaswords people come up with these days_.

"Just a moment, dear," the Fat Lady told me.

"What, did they change the password again?" I asked irritably.

"No, but I wanted to tell you something," she said, her eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

"What is it?"

"Don't be snappy with me, young lady, or I might not tell you who was knocking on this here door not five minutes ago!"

"What do you mean?" I asked, interested.

The Fat Lady rolled her eyes, but still continued.

"Well, you see, there was a tall Slytherin boy with dark hair running towards me, and he was being chased by a blond Slytherin boy holding the sword of Godric Gryffindor! The tall one was banging on the door and yelling to let him in, but I couldn't, of course. Then the blond boy was yelling something about a Hermione Granger and some sort of spell and something about Zac Efron, whoever that is. And then they both ran off!"

I had kind of hoped that what she told me would tie up some loose ends, make eveything clearer.

Unfortunately, it had done the opposite.

_How the heck did I get myself messed up in all of this?_

_I should have stuck with the books today_, I thought to myself.

I felt utterly confused, a rather miserable feeling.

Instead of going into the common room to read, however, I walked away.

"Where are you going now?" the Fat Lady called after me.

I ignored her.

"If you see Sir Cadogan, tell him that I say hi!"

"Ask someone else!" I called.

I began to run.

* * *

><p><em>What would Zac Efron do?<em>

Zac Efron would chase after the girl instead of climbing a tree to hide from his best friend.

Zac Efron would not attempt to attack his best friend with a sword just because he placed a spell on him that was causing him to crave cupcakes and be really tired.

Or something like that, anyway.

Zac Efron would appreciate the spell, because at least it had led him to fall in love with the most supermegafoxyawesome-est girl on the planet.

Me, I would- I _did_- hate the spell.

Me, I would try and hide until the spell wore off.

Me, I would wish I could talk to her when she ran right past my tree, but not actually say anything.

Me, I would get really angry that I hadn't said anything to her.

And then I just might punch the branch that I was sitting on right where I shouldn't have.

Zac Efron was lucky, and I was not.

Zac Efron would most certainly not hit the branch he was sitting on and cause it to break and him to fall out of the tree.

He would not have broken his-

Where was I hurt the most?

_Everything _hurt.

I decided that the most painful spot was my left ankle- it was probably broken.

_I wish I was Zac Efron_.

* * *

><p>"Well, it's nothing that can't be mended with a few potions, right?" I asked with a smile.<p>

"Well..." Madam Pomfrey trailed off, her usually stern features troubled.

"What?" I asked, just a little bit scared out of my wits.

"Well, yes. But, the thing is, the main medicine required grew in the gardens... and all of it was trampled today by a hooligan fooling around with a sword," she told me.

No. _No._

_You have _got _to be kidding me._

_Stupid plant._

"Was that plant, er, a kind of blueish flower? With a red stem?"

"Yes."

_Zac Efron would _not _have done that._

_I should just forget about that guy- I never even that movie._

"So... What does that mean, anyway?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well, I can give you something to get rid of the pain, but it will take a while to heal."

"How long, exactly?"

"Either a few months-"

_Bloody hell!_

"-or until we can get more of the plant shipped here by owl."

"Do that!" I exclaimed.

"Very well, then. By express owl, you've got three days."

"_What?_"

"It's usually grown in Antarctica."

"Ah," I managed to choke out.

_STUPID PLANT. _

Madam Pomfrey left me for a moment, then came back carrying two muggle contraptions.

"What are those?"

"Crutches," she replied. "I don't know how to work them myself, but you can ask my apprentice about that. She's very good with muggle things like this."

"Who's your apprentice?" I asked.

_Please, please don't be-_

"Hermione Granger."

_What would Zac Efron do?_

_I have absolutely no idea._


End file.
